Friendly Churches

I have been in several "friendly" churches over the years. They base their desire to be friendly on Proverbs 18:24a, "A man that hath friends must show himself friendly...". Proverbs 18:24a is often misinterpreted. Literally, it talks of a man who desires to have many friends, who must break himself in many "pieces" in order to be friendly to all. This man is friendly (like a friend but not a friend). He can never get close enough to anyone to share his heart with them. He is in too many "pieces". Friendliness is very shallow. The love of a friend (as shown in Proverbs 18:24b) is very deep.

I remember a time my family and I moved to a new area. We found a church that was sound, fundamental and "friendly". (I am sure there are some people who are true friends there, even today). We started attending there and were settling in when it was announced that the side hill next to their back parking lot needed some cleanup. All available men and boys were to show up on Saturday to clean it up. Our family thought: "What a good way to get to know some of the people in our new church!" So the boys and I went to help. As is our family's habit, we got there a little early. I knew what needed to be done, so we started cleanup before the others got there (where my family and I came from, if one knew what work needed to be done at a church work day, they started work as soon as they arrived). Soon some young men from the church arrived. They just stood in the parking lot joking and laughing. It took me a few minutes but I finally realized what was going on. They were teaching me who was boss. I called for the boys to go back to the parking lot. As soon as we were there, the leader told everyone to go to work. I learned who was boss. I also learned how "friendly" they really were. This "showing who was boss" was repeated by the older adults and even the pastor in various other instances later, so it was not just the young men. When people are "boss", God isn't.

Often the friendly church will quote the first part of Hebrew 10:25, "Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is...", but will either ignore or put in a lower priority the second part of the verse, "...but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.". The word "exhorting" in this verse means to point to Christ. Our primary responsibility in this verse is to point each other to Christ, not to worship God. Worshipping God is the result of pointing each other to Christ. We often point the unsaved to Christ for salvation, but salvation is far more than being saved from the penalty of our sins. Salvation is ultimately becoming like the Second Adam, Jesus Christ, which begins with our being saved from the penalty of our sins. Thus, believers need to be pointed to Christ as much as the unsaved do. Also, we need to look on the unsaved as those who potentially could be like the Second Adam, and not just as people going to Hell!
I would rather see our churches be loving churches than friendly churches. Loving churches magnify Christ to the point that spiritual, physical, emotional, and mental needs are met through Christ, whereas friendly churches tend to give their money but not themselves, and Christ is Savior but not Lord. Friendly churches also tend to condemn others for not living up to a pre-set standard (legalism). Jesus, in His life on earth, never condemned or judged anyone (cf. John 3:17; 12:47). Jesus' time to be Judge is not yet. Neither is it the believer's time yet to judge others with the judgment Christ will give us to judge with (see 1 Cor. 6:1-3).

Some will say to take what I have written above with a grain of salt, because in appearance I have not consulted with a multitude of counsellors. But the majority of the thoughts above were taught to me over the years by men much older than me that have studied the Bible for many years. These are not all original ideas with me, though I do agree with them. Take what I have written above to Christ and ask Him if what is written above is right in His eyes.